Rampage resurrected! Rock rescues random residents running round ridiculous robust rascals!

        Dwayne Johnson chose to play the helicopter guy I think.  

        Dwayne Johnson chose to play the helicopter guy I think.  

It was announced Dwayne Johnson is re-teaming with the team behind San Andreas to make a movie based on the classic video game Rampage, one of my favorite NES games as a child.  I am sure the pitch session was take Godzilla vs King Kong and the destruction of San Andreas and add the multicultural heartthrob Dwayne and print money.  The game is light on human characters, although when your life bar gets low the massive creatures did turn into naked humans who would shamefully sidestep off the screen.  

        The crab walk of shame.

        The crab walk of shame.

There is also the swarming military, so maybe Mr. Rock plays a soldier sent to deal with the dueling beasts.  I wonder if Dwayne is actually a hardcore classic gaming fan, I remember his name swirling around an adaptation of Spy Hunter for years, and he already has Doom on his resume.  He had to settle with voicing a character in Spy Hunter: Nowhere to Run, so I hope this venture into video game adaptations satisfies him.  But if we are going to mine the NES era catalog for odd movie adaptations I have some other suggestions.

                                   Can you imagine how The Rock would sound breathing helium?

                                   Can you imagine how The Rock would sound breathing helium?

Balloon Fight - In a future war against sentient machines we counter their technology by strapping giant balloons to our soldiers to drop bombs on their power sources.  Dwayne Johnson is a retired Olympic high jumper tasked with bringing the computers to their knees...er...modems?

Super Glove Ball - Dwayne Johnson stars as Archibald "Archie" Fist who was captured by aliens to compete in the violent game Glove Ball for their entertainment.  A new captive played by Steve Buscemi knows a way back to earth and they battle their way to escape.

Base Wars - Dwayne Johnson stars as Lester Heft one of the last remaining human baseball players in a game played largely by hulking robots.  The league tries to force him and the other humans into retirement by changing the rules so that you have to fight any time you are set to be tagged out at the plate.  Lester needs one more season to reach 2000 runs and decides to take his chances doing battle 'round the bases.

Have another adaptation you would love to see, pitch it in the comments.

 

Bundles of games that are worth your time, (and money!)

Steam Summer Sale 2015 Pickups - Chris